Miguel Sánchez-Mazas Katedra

Learning to be more assertive can take time

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On being a man

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The Five Love Languages

Acts of love

Finding my way home

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Full circle in relationships

Lessons from a submissive girl

callosum between the two hemispheres of the brain, we have access to our thoughts and feelings the same time. So, you must keep her in her masculine-energy, Yang mind; not her feeling yin mind. Oh, that means not to the park amidst the spring flowers either!))

Tell her you are having some real hardship with the lack of established, negotiated boundaries as you plan to join your lives together. A relationship needs complements, not competitors. If you are going to be the masculine-energy partner, then she HAS to be willing to be the feminine-energy partner. (I strongly recommend you read Dr. Pat Allen’s book: Getting to "I Do" before you speak with her, and offer the book to her as a template of how you see your relationship being built.) Gently make her aware that even though you are marrying, there MUST be boundaries negotiated between you; and a biggie is how you will keep your business and personal lives balanced; and how much you will allow her to assume some roles and responsibilities in YOUR business –- but it remains your business, and the lack of negotiated boundaries is causing a problem for you -- and you want to negotiate and heal it before it destroys your personal relationship.

I cannot stress strongly enough you MUST retain your emotional balance –- if you whine or get angry or express your annoyance too strongly, you will throw her over into her competitiveness, and end up fighting. As the man in the relationship, who loves his wife-to-be, you must take the lead and set up the relationship in a way that will most likely make it succeed. That’s your job! Sometimes that means you have to refuse her something she wants, or channel her into some other direction in order to best suit the relationship.

I wish you luck. I know it can be done, because my husband did it for me. Yes it hurt -- but had he not pulled up the reins on my exuberant “helping” in his business, I would have destroyed our marriage before it even happened!!